What Did You Do With My Son?

NicholasI guess it’s about time for an update, though mostly we have been busy praying and waiting.  Our homestudy is now officially complete!  Hooray.  From what I hear that is the longest part of the process and now that we have that we can move forward.    We were disappointed to learn that the embassy in EE is enforcing a new rule as of Nov 1, 2012 that will cause us a 6 week delay but we are trusting in God’s perfect timing nonetheless.  The next step for us is to file our I-600A application with USCIS, get an appointment for biometrics (fingerprinting) and then finally file our dossier with the government to be invited to travel to meet our boy!

We also have been working on the new (as of 9/1/12)  80-hour parent training requirement.  We completed 50 hours online and will do a 30 hour face-to-face training in January.

I have to say that if I wasn’t completely disturbed and heartbroken for kids stuck living in institutions before this training, my heartbreak is now complete…..  Their realities are horrific, stuff I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy let alone a child.  As I went further into the training I found myself feeling despair on their behalf.  There are so many hurting kids, broken and wounded and for some there is no hope of ever knowing the love of an earthly family. Many are so starved of stimulation they adopt self soothing behaviors that range from rocking themselves to actually causing harm to their bodies just so they can feel something.  Imagine trying to scratch out your own eyes in an attempt to know you are alive… Sometimes their brains actually develop differently such that they live in a constant state of ‘fight or flight’.  That might mean any number of abnormal behaviors, including, but not limited to aggression, inability to attach to anyone or withdrawing completely into themselves.  Much of it is just too hard to even write about but trust me the list goes on and on and on.  And there is just nowhere to turn but God and again and again I find myself  crying out to God on behalf of every single one of these innocents.  It is all so awful and unnecessary and there are so many kids in this situation.  Why God??  Are we that devoid of your Love in this world?  Why are you allowing this?  What can we do to fix it?

But I know that God hears the cry of the poor.  Again and again throughout scripture the poor and the oppressed cry out to their God and again and again He hears and answers their pleas.

“For I assisted the poor in their needs and the orphans who required help” (Job 29:12)

And one by one, little by little, children are being rescued everyday.  It is incredible to witness and be a part of.  But there are still SO MANY that wait….

The Lord is coming.  He hears the cry and He is coming in power.  He is coming to take these least into His arms. He will lift them from despair.  He will redeem every last one of them.

When the just cry out, the LORD hears them, and from all their distress he rescues them. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves. Many are the troubles of the just man, but out of them all the LORD delivers him. (Psalm 34)

And when I stand before my God at the end of my life and am asked that one question; When the gaze of God almighty peers into my soul, silently imploring, “What have you done with my Son?”, I pray I will have an answer.  I loved. I prayed. I didn’t do nearly enough; couldn’t possibly.  I am only me. I am only one.  I am an insignificant part of the great big whole.  But with what you gave me Lord, I multiplied.  You loved me and I loved.  You redeemed me and I offered redemption.  You called me and I answered.  I could have done more but look not at my failings only my fruit.

It is not despair that we should fall into on behalf of these children but rather Joy!   We are called to the Joy and Hope we have been given as Christians.  We are called to Joy because we are loved, we are forgiven, we are saved, we are the apple of God’s eye, we are promised the land of Milk and Honey, and God promised to redeem the oppressed. He is coming in power and is mighty to save.

 So
‎”Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the LORD has comforted his people, and will have compassion on his afflicted.” – Isa 49:13

And when he comes how will he find me?  Will I be about His work or consumed by the worries of this world?

Please God I pray, hear me saying only, “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be done to me according to they word.”

For your orphans I give my Yes. I give myself.

And there is no greater Honor.

 

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2 thoughts on “What Did You Do With My Son?

  1. We are waiting for approval for an international adoption. It has dragged on for weeks and still have many more months of bureaucratic red tape and politics to clear before we can bring a child into our loving, affectionate, and amply supplied home. Meanwhile, the child waits. And waits. I understand not wanting the children to be released into destructive or slavery-style conditions in another country, but once we’re approved, get the child in our arms as fast as possible!! So many countries want to make a buck off these children or make them some sort of political pawn. Open the doors and let loving Christian families take care of the children!

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